I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Randomize
