Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
