Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
This toilet bowl is my home.
Randomize
