So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Found the puke drawer
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize