if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
