He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
