my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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