And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
