He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
