so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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