Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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