he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
