At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize