Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
