Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Randomize