What a fucking waste of an outfit
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Damn victory sex feels great
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
