I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
