My room smells like vodka and shame
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize
