Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize