so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Randomize
