What a fucking waste of an outfit
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Randomize
