Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize