hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
