She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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