idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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