Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
