so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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