I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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