Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
