i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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