I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
