he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
