Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
