i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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