so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
you would pick up someone in the library
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
