What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
