hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Randomize
