I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
