if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
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