Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Randomize
