dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
