yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
