And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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