i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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