i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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