I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
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