Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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