The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I just forgot I was standing up.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
