Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Randomize
