Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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