do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
i would one night stand the shit outta him
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize