Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
