I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
