dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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