it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
