I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize