ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
