Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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