The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
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