i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize