After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Randomize