I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
