She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
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