Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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